Elana's Blog

Elana Meyers-Taylor Blogs for the USOC

2/20/2015

Elana has been chronicling her 2014-2015 bobsled season in personal blogs for the USOC. These blogs provide a behind the scenes look at her current season, including her venture into racing 4 man, as well as insight into the mind of an athlete.

Read Elana's newest post "Recruiting the Next Generation of Bobsledders" and catch up on all her previous blogs on the USOC website.

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Silver Lining

2/23/2014

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I need to write. And I need to write while the emotion is still raw, before I have the chance to let my rational mind consume my thoughts as it tries to help me sleep at night. My hope is that maybe someone can learn something from my words, that it can change something for someone, but if not, hopefully it's cathartic enough for me to help me get some sleep at night.

Every night I'm haunted by that last run; I haven't slept much since it happened. I replay the skids so vividly in my head that any thoughts of the other corners are reduced to a mere hazy memory.

So how does it feel to feel like you choked in front of the whole world? How does it feel to have your lifelong dream slip away literally from your fingertips? It sucks.

So what happened? This is a question I will ask repeatedly for the next four years. I felt physically good and I mentally felt in the best place possible to drive my sled well. I'm usually very strong in the biggest pressure situations, which is how I landed the nickname of E-Money or Money Meyers, the pressure excites me and usually brings out the best of me- this time it just didn't.

I finally watched the last run of the race and realized I didn't quite look like myself- I looked well...exhausted. And I was exhausted before the race had even started. I'd mentioned before that my Olympics had been extremely tough, and it had been. It began with the initial Olympic team selection, where some brakeman were chosen and others not and the hate mail started to come. I should've had tougher skin, but I never would've thought I would've been told I'm a horrible person for something I didn't choose; I took it too much to heart and got stressed out. It then continued with brakemen race-offs in Sochi (which are always stressful), which resulted in a gash in my shin that required a stitch and a bone bruise, brakeman switches, and yes more hate mail. We finally get to race week and there's problems with equipment, I crash (whiplash), and then my sled breaks (and even more whiplash)- like gets completely totaled- and reassembled again. So needless to say I was absolutely exhausted, but I still believed in my power to come back from all of this and succeed and win the gold. I still believed that despite my exhaustion I was going to be able to perform at the highest level- and I was doing it...and then it slipped away. Was I too exhausted? Did I just finally hit my mental limits? I don't know...

I know people are proud of me, but I also know that I'll be for we criticized as having choked at the Olympics and to those people at this time I don't have much to say. I honestly don't know what happened. I did everything right- I ate right, slept the required hours, and followed my coaches instructions to a tee, but it just didn't happen. I lie awake at night trying to figure out why, yet the answers don't come. I know they will eventually surface, but I know it will take some deep reflection. I'll get some answers eventually, but right now I'm just stuck with my emotions and stuck trying to figure out how to move past all this so I can begin the next four years.

I can't change what happened and even as I grasp to make sense of it all, I'm still at a loss. At the moment I feel like I let my coaches, teammates, Lauryn, all of America down, and nothing seems to reduce the sting. The tears come easily now, but each time they come I'm reminded of what happened and how I never want to feel this way again.

As I go on with my career, even if I win a gold medal I'm sure that I won't forget the pain I feel right now, but if I am fortunate enough to win a gold medal, I know it will be because of this moment. I will use these feelings as motivation- as a guiding force to teach me what I need to to move forward. I will figure out what went wrong and how to become a better athlete because of it. I will take this moment and use it as an opportunity to grow as a person and an athlete. I'm motivated more than ever now to become the athlete I know I can be. I will learn everything I need to from this situation and become even stronger.

This post may seem strange to most people who would say "Hey- you won a silver medal at the Olympics"- but my goal at the Olympics wasn't to win a medal necessarily, it was to put down four great runs, and I didn't do that. I let myself down, but the outcome was still a medal. I'm proud to have won a medal for my country and I'm proud of the effort I put out to do it. My friends and family sacrificed so much, and my fiancé has perhaps sacrificed the most in terms of time, energy, and financially. I worked extremely hard for this hardware, and I'll forever cherish it. I've made history- I'm the first black pilot to win an Olympic medal, the first woman to win a medal as a pilot and a brakeman, and the first US woman to win two bobsled medals- that's quite an incredible feat!

At the end of the day I have to appreciate the journey to this point- the journey to win this Olympic medal. I've learned so much and I've grown so much as a person. I am a better daughter, sister, fiancé, and athlete because of the past four years and the journey to Sochi. At the end of the day, I may have lost the gold, but there's definitely a silver lining.

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Hard Decisions 1-10-2014

1/10/2014

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It all comes down to next week. It all comes down to Igls. The thought of it is literally making me sick to my stomach. As excited as I am about the naming of the Olympic team for the U.S. women's bobsled team next week, I'm also completely dreading it. Why would I dread what would seem like a tremendous celebration? Because for the six women are named to the team (3 drivers, 3 brakeman), 3 inevitably won't be named to the team- and that thought turns my stomach over and makes me sick.

Why would that thought make me sick? Well I'm a team sport kind of athlete, I love having teammates and I love interacting with them and competing with them. My mom always wishes I would gravitate towards an individual sport, where the focus was just on me and my performance, but I could never stay away from the fact that I absolutely love having teammates and people to share the highs and the lows with. There's a certain bond between teammates that develops and it's always something special, and with this team it's no different.

I say it's no different, but this team is something special. Kristi Koplin was one of the brakeman with me my first year driving- taking miserable trip after miserable trip as I tried to learn the ropes. Without her and the class of brakeman that came in with her, who knows where I'd be.

Emily Azevedo has been on World Cup since 2006-2007 season and she's been a stalwart. With Olympic games experience, she's been a veteran leader for the brakeman and helped keep everything together- with the changing of coaches and drivers as well. Emily's been a rock for this team for a long time.

Katie Eberling- oh what can I say about Katie! She's been my rock for the past two seasons- she's been with me as I transitioned to a full time World Cup driver and fought with me through thick and thin- she pushed me to two World Championship medals and she's got a fight that's always helped me stay confident in my driving. We've been roommates the past two years- we've seen each other at the highest of highs and the lowest of lows (she's probably seen me cry more than anyone in bobsled other than Nic!), and she's always been there for me. I can't say enough how much the past two years of having Katie in the back of my sled has gotten me to where I am today and for that I'll forever be grateful.

Lauryn Williams is a rookie this year. She doesn't know much about the sport, but she's one of the most positive people I've ever met. She's eager to learn and eager to help, and she's been great for a team where stress is a constant looming presence. She pushed me to a medal this season and it's been a joy to slide with her.

Lolo Jones is one of the hardest working people I've ever met. She has so much energy I feel like she's doing 100 things at once! She truly transitioned into a bobsledder and knows how to take care of a driver. It's definitely reassuring as a pilot knowing that if the sled some how broke in a million pieces, you could rest assure knowing that Lolo would some how find all million pieces and personally sit down and super glue the entire thing back together! That's what kind of worker she is- she's tireless and determined. I've won medals with her as well and what's she's displayed in those wins is an incredible amount of fight. She's been great for this team.

And finally, Aja Evans. What a beast! She's got so much talent I think the weights get stronger when she lifts them! She's been a great athlete all her life but she is starting to become a great bobsledder. She's always pushed fast, but she's starting to learn the sport and is working every day to become a better bobsledder. I had my first World Cup win with her and she has worked this year to make my life as easy as possible. We've been through our highs and lows together, but this year in particular we've grown closer and she's really come into her own.

When you've got 6 great brakeman, 6 brakeman that I've all won medals with, cried with, and laughed with, how the heck are you supposed to narrow it down to just 3? To clarify, the drivers do not select the brakeman. The brakeman are selected to the Olympic team by a selection committee that includes coaches, our CEO, and retired Olympians. I personally am glad I don't have to make this decision, because with a brakeman squad like this how could you possible choose? All of these women work extremely hard and all of them deserve to go, but only 3 will make it. I'm going to be over the moon excited for those who make it, but devastated for those who don't. I have no idea at this point how this decision will turn out but I'm proud of every single last brakeman. They've all fought for this spot and they've all earned it. I'll be honored to be on an Olympic team with any of these incredible women.

January 19 will undoubtedly be one of the hardest days for me of my bobsled career...

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Elana Meyers-Taylor Blogs for the USOC

Silver Lining

Hard Decisions 1-10-2014

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